This is your brain on hate...
Our words really do have creative power. We speak our reality into existence, consciously and unconsciously. You WILL talk to yourself (go ahead, try not doing it--I dare you!). The real question is whether you will harness the power of your self-talk to create the life you want, or whether you will become a victim to it.
Watch this rice experiment, and think about the thoughts you flood your brain with daily. Are you a right jar or a left jar person? Does your language allow you to flourish and grow, or are you withering away in self-doubt, depression, anger, powerlessness?
Be conscious of the words you choose daily, including the words that stay in your head. Choose words that make you feel good!
Want more? Click here to watch a longer video (45 minutes) about how we affect our reality.
Would you cheat?
Would you cheat on your spouse? Would you abuse a baby? Would you beat a puppy? Hopefully you answered no to each of those questions! What prevents you from doing those things? Is it a standard that you adhere to, or do you have to write it down and force yourself to comply? Is it a battle of will and discipline, or is it simply a matter of the identity you hold for yourself that doesn't allow you to engage in such behavior?
What is a "standard?" According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a standard is "a level of quality, achievement, etc., that is considered acceptable or desirable." The standards that we hold for ourselves are like our own internal thermostat. We all know how a thermostat works. It's designed to keep the temperature at our chosen level of comfort. If our thermostat is set at 70 degrees and the temperature drops to 65, the thermostat turns the heat on to get it back up to 70. On the flip side, if the temperature goes up to 75, the thermostat will kick in to cool things down.
Our standards are our thermostat. They keep us in our comfort zone, and they can help us or hinder us in reaching our goals. They speak to our very identity. Trying to achieve a goal without looking at who we need to become in order to achieve it is like trying to suddenly adjust our thermostat from 70 to 100. In a very short time, we are extremely uncomfortable and will do whatever it takes to cool things back down!
However, what happens if instead you focus on consistently adjusting the thermostat two or three degrees? After a while, you're fine in 90 to 105 degrees, and suddenly 70 is cold.
Looking at each area of your life, how do you determine what your standards are? Take a look at the results you've been getting. A person who holds a high standard of optimum health will usually look very different from the person whose walk from the dinner table to the couch to watch TV is their exercise for the day.
Take an honest look and ask yourself what standards you have been holding. Then identify what it is that you really want. What will your new standard be in that area? How will you turn up your thermostat a few degrees? What will you no longer tolerate less than? What new rituals do you need to put in place to set that standard?
What are you thinking?
What we see, experience, and feel with our five senses always comes after the decision to see, experience, and feel it." --Pam Grout
The above quote comes from a book I am currently reading, "E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality." Incantations, affirmations, positive thinking, intentions--whatever you want to call it, this book offers more evidence that what you think about, you bring about. And it gives you some specific experiments to try so you can prove it to yourself. If you have coached with me for any length of time, we have no doubt talked about this very subject. Despite the fact that our lives reflect that language and we are unconsciously doing incantations already (I'm so stupid; what's wrong with me; I just look at food and gain weight; no matter how hard I try, I'm always broke, etc.), many people are resistant to trying on new language patterns (it feels awkward; it can't be that simple, etc.)
I challenge you to get the book, pick one of the experiments and try it for a couple of weeks. What have you got to lose?
Board certified executive coach, mentor and life strategist.
"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
--Norman Vincent Peale