Take a few minutes to watch this powerful video from Tony. After you've watched the video, grab your coaching journal and answer the following questions:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
This video is such a great illustration of how much we operate by habit! I started to comment on it, but I really think you should just watch for yourself.
Today I wanted to share a great video by Brendan Burchard. It goes along with what has become the theme for my year: raising your standards enough to challenge you, but not so much that you become frustrated and quit. Enjoy!
BJ Fogg is a professor at Stanford University. In this video, he shares with us an incredibly EASY way to make changes for the better and have them last long term. It is right in line with raising your standards and making sure you CELEBRATE!!!
Many small changes add up to create huge change overall. Tony Robbins refers to this as the two millimeters that make the big difference over time.
This video gives you three steps to creating new habits. They are:
Great clip! Hear what Tony Robbins has to say about raising your standards and the rituals you follow.
Would you cheat on your spouse? Would you abuse a baby? Would you beat a puppy? Hopefully you answered no to each of those questions! What prevents you from doing those things? Is it a standard that you adhere to, or do you have to write it down and force yourself to comply? Is it a battle of will and discipline, or is it simply a matter of the identity you hold for yourself that doesn't allow you to engage in such behavior?
What is a "standard?" According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a standard is "a level of quality, achievement, etc., that is considered acceptable or desirable." The standards that we hold for ourselves are like our own internal thermostat. We all know how a thermostat works. It's designed to keep the temperature at our chosen level of comfort. If our thermostat is set at 70 degrees and the temperature drops to 65, the thermostat turns the heat on to get it back up to 70. On the flip side, if the temperature goes up to 75, the thermostat will kick in to cool things down.
Our standards are our thermostat. They keep us in our comfort zone, and they can help us or hinder us in reaching our goals. They speak to our very identity. Trying to achieve a goal without looking at who we need to become in order to achieve it is like trying to suddenly adjust our thermostat from 70 to 100. In a very short time, we are extremely uncomfortable and will do whatever it takes to cool things back down!
However, what happens if instead you focus on consistently adjusting the thermostat two or three degrees? After a while, you're fine in 90 to 105 degrees, and suddenly 70 is cold.
Looking at each area of your life, how do you determine what your standards are? Take a look at the results you've been getting. A person who holds a high standard of optimum health will usually look very different from the person whose walk from the dinner table to the couch to watch TV is their exercise for the day.
Take an honest look and ask yourself what standards you have been holding. Then identify what it is that you really want. What will your new standard be in that area? How will you turn up your thermostat a few degrees? What will you no longer tolerate less than? What new rituals do you need to put in place to set that standard?
I am always sad to say goodbye to summer. I miss the long, sunny days, warm weather, and grilling out on the deck. However, I really love fall! I love the gorgeous fall colors and the crispness in the air. I love being able to sit by the fire and cook up our favorite stews and casseroles. And I love Halloween. For me, it's a fun holiday, an opportunity to think of transitions, and a great time to address one of our biggest and most heartfelt emotions: fear.
What exactly is fear? According to the dictionary, it is "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined (emphasis mine)." In fact, sometimes it can be very difficult to differentiate between fear and excitement. Have you ever gone on a big scary roller coaster, or gone skydiving?
Dan Brown said, "Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire." Rather than allowing fear to become your driving force, consider it to be one of your advisors. When it offers its opinion, ask yourself what's really going on. Is this situation truly dangerous, or is it simply unfamiliar? Then you are able to make a decision based on your experience, intellect, or instinct. As Marie Curie said, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Understand that most of the time, fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.
What are you afraid of? Write down your biggest fears in all areas of your life: relationships, finances, health, business, etc. What is showing up for you? How do these fears stop you? Once you have identified them, decide what actions you are going to take. Decide to be courageous. Tony Robbins says, "It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped." The question is whether you choose to decide that for yourself or if you choose to let fear make that decision for you. Choose wisely.
What we see, experience, and feel with our five senses always comes after the decision to see, experience, and feel it." --Pam Grout
The above quote comes from a book I am currently reading, "E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality." Incantations, affirmations, positive thinking, intentions--whatever you want to call it, this book offers more evidence that what you think about, you bring about. And it gives you some specific experiments to try so you can prove it to yourself. If you have coached with me for any length of time, we have no doubt talked about this very subject. Despite the fact that our lives reflect that language and we are unconsciously doing incantations already (I'm so stupid; what's wrong with me; I just look at food and gain weight; no matter how hard I try, I'm always broke, etc.), many people are resistant to trying on new language patterns (it feels awkward; it can't be that simple, etc.)
I challenge you to get the book, pick one of the experiments and try it for a couple of weeks. What have you got to lose?
How many of you started with me on our 90 day challenge at the beginning of the year? How are you doing? We are just a little past the halfway mark. Are you on target for reaching your goals? If not, where do you need to adjust in order to make sure you finish strong? It's not too late! Get going!
Michael Nitti is one of our top coaches at RRI. He is also a dear friend, mentor, and one of my coaches. He posted this today, and I think it's worth sharing.
"It's not what you are looking at, it's what you see. For the most part, what you and I tend to "see" is what we expect to see, which is shaped by what we've seen before. Hence, how most of us react to situations in the present tends to replicate how we've always reacted, which is why people tend to live lives that are little more than regurgitated versions of the past. To break free, one must simply observe this occurring and STOP it. Give it up. Train yourSelf to see what is real and present in the NOW. Acknowledge the past and let it go. Live and love on purpose, which requires that you move toward something intentionally versus reacting from fear. YOU are the author of your own experience. Create!!"
Board certified executive coach, mentor and life strategist.
"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
--Norman Vincent Peale